Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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