If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
