So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
