Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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