There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
