After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize