It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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