Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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