Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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