and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
