I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
