would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
