ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
