How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Someone shattered a urinal.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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