well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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