im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
