I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
