You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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