I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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