i would punch a child for taco bell
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
