She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Come share oat with me in your robe
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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