ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
