Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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