I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
