is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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