I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
