shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
