thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
