I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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