dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
