absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
