we're chasing vodka with high fives
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
