so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
