upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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