Swine flu. Run for my life!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My ATM looks so different sober.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
