you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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