Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
