so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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