when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
