You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
