worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The air taste purple.
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