and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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