I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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