So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You took a bar mat shot.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
