White coat. Heels.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
