and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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