I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm at about main and main street
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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