hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
