Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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