You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
