This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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