I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
