The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
