; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
