my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
